Anxious Allie

As Christians, we are all equally longing to prosper in the fruits of the spirit. This familiar list contains some of the most desirable traits any human could want to possess. Love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are all just out of reach most days for anyone of us. But regardless, we are called to exhibit these traits as we live out the christian life. If these traits aren’t unachievable, what is the point to even trying to live the christian life anyways?

Are we willing to wait?

Every self help book ever written will give you millions of practical ways to become who you are “meant to be”. I know i have personally exhausted myself trying to achieve these things, and regardless of the guarantee, nothing seems to stick. Why is it so hard? The problem I believe is that we are not willing to wait on a good thing. We see small changes fast, then when they we inventively fail, we give up trying all together. The problem is we are not waiting on the Lord to change us. We are relying on our own will power. Only the change he wills changes us at heart level. The Bible tells us we are broken. You can’t fix anything with broken tools. That is all we have to use. You need a carpenter that knows how to mend them and then use them properly. When we wait broken at his feet he can’t help but fix us, leading to growth beyond what we could ever will ourselves. He loves us beyond what we can imagine. We have to choose to position ourselves there. The Lord wants us to choose him. He can’t completely fix us without all the pieces. Will he be an ornament on a put together exterior, or the trunk and roots, powering us from the center . His living spirit in us produces good fruit.

Wait expectantly!

As with any good fruit, growth takes time. Faith is the fertilizer needed. The Lord promises to put his hands in the soil as we seek him. One day bringing us to completion, offering us a 100% guarantee!

Most people, when they think of being present and mindfulness, think of the silent monk who sits with his legs crossed from dawn to dusk. If that were the only way to practice such things no wonder we’ve all seemed to abandon it. Now, it’s more obvious than ever that this is a skill we all desperately need to learn. In the halt of a viral pandemic we’re all showing signs of our deficiency in this. It is not natural for human beings to not be in motion. For so long our brains have been in survival mode so much so that we’re exhausting ourselves just living.

Practice Makes Peace

When we do not take the time to observe the present moment we fail to see that we don’t hold the world together with our own two hands. Think about all the times that it’s felt like the world has fallen apart even against our best efforts. It may be that some of us are just afraid to realize how small we really are. The world does in fact need us. It needs our creativity and productivity to become a better place. Ironically so, we strive so much to make the world better but most of the time we are trying to hard. We’re burnt out and bitter, unable to enjoy the fruits of our labor as we should. I believe a good phase to describe this situation is that we are slaves to this world.

To break free from the chains I think we first all need to do some self -observation What makes us notice the world around us? This could be different from one person to another. There is no uniform rule (remember the peaceful monk trap) . It will not be easy for in being present we are going against the grain. Starting a journal is a great place to start. You will want to do this is a quick place free of distraction to get the most out of it. Journal daily for a week then look back through you journal entries at the end of that week. Note what you talked about most. The things that fall out of the page are things that ground you in the world. This could be the birds chirping or children laughing. Once you’ve made note of what you acknowledging the most, do more of it. While you do these things, it will be beneficial to do a quick body scan. Note emotions you feel. Note how your body physical feels. This is your grounding place. As you practice noticing these things in these ideal environments, you will start to notice when things are off in your daily life. When you feel you have traveled too far from this grounding place, close your eyes and image yourself there. Come back to that grounding place.

The purpose here is to stay in your bod. It’s time we stop being so reactive. We’re missing too many of the beautiful pieces of life. We need to feel our heartbeat, our chest rise and fall, and to marvel at the wonder of it all. It’s time to stop settling for numbing out. We are slighting ourselves. Life truly is full of goodness. Taste the good fruit.

Anxiety can cause us to have a monkey brain. I head full of energy with no way to exert it. This may present itself in different ways depending on the person. One could be plauged with constant negative self talk bouning off ever wall of their mind causing the to overthink constantly causing them to fear themselves. In another it can look like a confident person who can’t stop talking or sit still for more than a second because if they did they would have to deal with the discomfort. In both causes, all the movement in our mind in unproductive. It prevents us from making real change that we really want in life.

Here’s and Idea!

One way that I have found some freedom from obsessive thoughts is to find repeated phrases in the Bible. Just as the negative thoughts in our mind repeat over and over again to the point where we believe them, we can also read God’s word until we believe it too. His words is powerful! They can shine brighter than all our obsessive thoughts!

The best way have found to do this is to consult your Bibles concordance. Most study Bibles have these and it is usually found within the last pages. My Bible has a concordance that you can reference verse that pertain to a certain word(i.e anxiety, contentment, etc.). I look up these verses that are referenced and also any versed that correlate in the margins of my Bible. Reading multiple verse that are saying the same thing but maybe in a different way( since they were written at different times and by different people) will help to understand the referenced passage. Then once you found a verse that you really understand at a heart level, I would practice scripture memorization. Daily mediation, such as written out the verse and saying it aloud is helpful in the memorization process. If you would like something like a guide to the process, I would recommend the Topical Memory System. It has many recommend verse to memorize but the process works for any passage once you get the hang of it.

I’d love to know if anyone one else has ways that they have found to help combat their anxiety with the scripture. If so, please comment below!

Just as Jesus supernaturally rose form the grave, he has given supernatural powers to us. While on staycation over the kids spring break due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve had the gift of extra time to delve into what supernatural powers he has given me. I took all my pint up energy into this task and I’m excited to share how I connected so many dots and made much sense about the life I have been given. These supernatural powers are known as spiritual gifts. It is written in scriptures that we are all his masterpiece powered by the Holy Spirit to do good works. We were no doubt born with unique innate personalities that compliment these gifts. He will use these things in undeniable ways so that his light shines through us.

All Things for Good

I could blame every ounce of anxiety I’ve ever had on troubles of the past and wish everyday that things had been different. Or, I could take a new perspective. This will take some practice after living in the bad habit of letting you anxiety take you wherever it wills. To start, it takes a lot of prayer for supernatural strength, but with each good day I am seeing that it is possible. In coming to accept my anxiety the Lord is turning my eyes to see this thorn in the flesh in new ways. Anxiety is power, a force that cannot be denied. It is energy. You can let it force you into the ground in a state of paralysis or propel you like a rocket to make a needed change. You have the freedom to chose.

I personally believe that my anxiety has a purpose. It’s played a part in building my intuition which has feed into the gift of discernment. It’s given me a spirit of empathy toward those who feel alone and misunderstood. This is a key ingredient in the gift of mercy. In hours of searching for ways to do away with my anxiety I found out so much about God and his word and have been able to put it all together and hopefully help those who read this have hope. These are the gifts of knowledge and prophesy. All of my life, every second of it, will be used for good because God has been molding it all along.

I encourage anyone who is curious to look into these spiritually gifts for I have just name a few of them. There are multiple chapters in the bible that address these (1 Corinthians 12; Romans 12; Ephesians 4). We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are and in the family that the church provides us, we are. Not only are we accepted and loved, we are important, each and everyone of us. God’s gift to the world.

Enjoy your path to discovery!

To find out what you spiritual gifts might be, try this assessment here.

As I write this article today, I am in the process of detoxifying my soul of the contamination the unforgivness has left within me. Guilt, shame, anger,traumas and hurts; its is a stagnant pool for a constant cycle of depression and anxiety. Whether your struggle is not being able to forgive those who hurt you, or not being able to forgive yourself, it’s all an issue of the heart.

When Remembering Hurts

Many of us think over ways that others have hurt us over and over everyday. On other days, we beat ourselves up continuously. We scan all situations and all decisions for any warning signs of being hurt again or having regrets. We think that in doing this we are protecting ourselves from future hurt, when in reality we are only hurting ourselves form the inside out. Bitterness is a product of unforgivness. It can lead to paralyzing anxiety and is serious long term cases, dark depressions. When we do this we build walls between us and the blessings that God wants to instill on us. When we are tempted to continue this “self-protecting” habit we need to remember that perfect love cast out fear (1 John 4:18). No amount of self protection as going to give us the security we search for, it only drains us of emotional energy needed to love others the way that God loved us.

How We’ve Hurt God

Since the beginning of time men have been dealing hurtful blows to the creator. He has plenty of reasons not to trust of with anything, but he dose. He has every right to leave us to our own demise, but he doesn’t. How is this? He’s chosen to display forgiveness in the unwarranted death of his son; A death that we condemned him to. I could be a anger bitter God dealing out justice everyday but instead he continues to let us be in the world as he intend us. He allows this even though he knows we will ultimately destroy it. He is able to see the beauty in it all. Though we can never be perfect, we can try our best to mirror him is this way.

Unforgivness cuts off all circulation to the heart witch is what produces change. Think of how the story would have gone if Joseph had hated his brothers for selling him off the be a slave in the beginning of the bible story. What his brothers meant for evil God used for good. Next time your faced with the choice, choose forgiveness.

Impossible you might say! Only a perfect person like Jesus could be slow to anger. This is true, but we have have the power to do so in the holy spirit. Anger is a process we are required to express even if we’re trying to live the “best christian life” . Anger is an emotion that alarms us to the need for change. It’s valid and acceptable to be angry in this world because there is in fact much that needs to change. Slow doesn’t turn into passivity but gives us a practical more peaceful way to process this complex emotion.

Even The Best Of Us Experience Anger

My new favorite word as of late as I have been dealing with years of bitterness is the word lament. To lament means to give a passion expression of grief or sorrow. Many popular scripture that people could recite by memory are considered to be laments. Much of the Psalms are Davids laments to the Lord. David was so close to to God that he is reffered to a man after Gods own heart. He was a man of sorrow, in a desperate place at the point in his life he wrote the psalms. He had dealt with much hurt and deceit from his own son. He came to the point where all he could do was call out to the Lord with pure honesty. The Lord never left his side when he was in exile in the caves of the wilderness. Another well known character in the Bible is Samson. His life is a tragic story all the way to the end. He believed in the Lord, and in his final moments he expressed his anger over the sins of the people. This expression caused the Lord to give him the strength in his final breath to demolish these evil people. In the story of Job, his is hurt and angry because he can’t see the reason for his suffering. All the while he is in conversation with the Lord and the Lord comforts his soul.

Our God Is A Honest God

In all his perfectness Jesus himself experienced anger . He had to come down to earth and feel everything we feel as mortal humans. This is how he relates to us, was able to take our place on the cross, and have unending mercy toward us. He was in ragged by the people making his temple ground to prey on weak souls through the selling of sacrifices. I can only imagine he had anger mixed with his sorrow as he cried ” My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me” as he suffered on the cross. HE UNDERSTANDS! He desires deep and honest relationship with us. Only when we are honest with him about our emotions can he begin to change the ones that are less desirable into power that he can use to bring change into this broken world.

When anger emerges, move toward God. He is our ultimate source of guidance and refuge from the storms that rage within us. The Lord desires a broken spirit, we can pray our laments to him. He will not judge us but hold and guide us in what’s the next right thing to do that will bring honor and glory to him.